Dread

Suddenly I'm swamped with different paranoid situations. I admit I wasn't nice back then. I do hope you know that I'm different now.

What is it that I do that makes you mad? Am I that inconsiderate? Or is it really me? So many questions.

Fret

This Halloween...I get to spend it doing thesis. Wow, how sad right? Costumes, trick or treats, candies and chocolates are not part of my Halloween this year. I miss it. I like seeing the kids in costumes especially my little brother. I especially like it when I see him enjoying himself on this very scary yet festive occasion. Am I too old for Halloween though? Nah, I don't think so. The Peter Pan syndrome is still in me. Next year will be better I hope. Last year was eventful and I guess maybe that's why I'm looking for it now. *sigh...how time flies. Christmas will be better this year I hope. Last year was a little sketchy but I do hope everything will turn out great this year. I'm already excited ;)

Question for the Day: (In the spirit of Halloween) What is the scariest thing you've ever done in your life?

Just wish...nothing more

The little things that used to matter. My friend told me one time that it can never be the same as it was before. We used to still talk but what happened? It is as if we are doing what society dictates us to do, keeping each other in safe distances. Thrice I tried reaching out and nothing. Or maybe the only connection that we had is now gone and with that...you decided to move on and forget about me. I can never forget you though - you know that. I just have to live with that.

What is right now?

I've been thinking about the future. Maybe it's time to grow up and leave past memories behind. I tend to wallow so forgive me for that.

My future.

I hope for the best because everything seems to be doing okay right now. I guess I'm just looking for the drama in my life. I do not mean to.

Question for the day: What do you look forward in life?

Meaning.

Have I changed? Did I become this girl who just waits for something to happen before doing anything first?

I cringe at the thought that I might become a person who is unable to see pass the present tense. Nowadays, I find myself just dealing with one item at a time. Goals for the future are blurry because I change every minute. I become reckless.

I do not wish to be the person that you can't count on. I do not wish to be the person that you have to take care of. I do not wish to be the person that you just have to be with because there's no one else.

Mixed.

Feelings are tangled up inside. I wish to be free of emotions. I wish to change the way I am because I feel like I'm losing myself.

Miss.

I want to be the person that you miss and not the person you wouldn't miss.

Question for the day: Who do you miss the most in your life?

Irritation.

It seems that the affinity that I told you we had still holds. We probably were one and the same person before. You just took a different route this lifetime and became the opposite sex. I, on the other hand, tried to be more positive (so far). The childhood story I'm afraid is the reason for a comment like this.

I work to please other people but not to the extent not being able to please myself in some way. I am selfish.

I miss someone because of the tiresome work that this person has to do. Changes are seen due to stress. Freedom will come soon I hope. It's about time to do something you enjoy and hope for a better journey .

Totally missing the point.

Life is not about having to figure it out all the time. There will always be mistakes. When those mistakes come, it's either you learn something from them or you wallow in those mistakes (which will be hopeless, but what the heck, it's easier to escape right?)

I'm not hiding. Here I am. I am more inclined to find my journey somewhere else. I'm looking for something more. I like it here of course - it's my homeland. But I just need a new and fresh perspective. New people can help you find more about yourself. Don't be stuck in just one cycle.

My sister recently had a paper on how Buddism affects everday living. Interesting especially with my favorite philosophy of all time - Karma. Believing that reincarnation is possible is also my secret query of life. Do we really turn into an animal after a lifetime of being a human?

Oohh... That's it.

Question for the day: What are the things that affect your everyday living?

Spurts of joy remember?

I have never meant to be absent-minded. I have never meant to hurt people. I have never meant to say things that I don't mean. I have never meant to fill you with such hope and pain all at the same time. I have never meant to be me.

Let's not mind that...

I bring good tidings. Never been this happy for another person. It's as if I had a hand with helping this person reach the goal. All the while, it was meant to be. Talent and hard work pays off. Determination is the drive that pushes people to get what they want. Faith is knowing that no matter what happens, there is still hope.

Question for the day: Have you ever felt hopeless about something and you can't stop thinking about it?