Convince me! Happy or not...here I come.

One step at a time. Messages again (from outer space!) I just do...you know. But sometimes it gets hard when you know it can never be there again. Can't help it right? It will always be part of me. Darn it.

About to leave this house to go to a new and permanent one (well that's what my mother says). My sister and I are given free reign on our rooms. Wheee!!! My sister will be doing some artwork for me. Been packing for the past weeks. One step at a time remember? I can't believe I have so many books. Three big boxes just for them and I can't carry them at all. I haven't even started on my cabinets of 'fun and memories'. Hmmm...the clothes will go last.

Summer...ooohh fun fun fun. Green&White Yearend was the blast. What's life after Green&White? You tell me...

Work has been going well. I've been commuting to work and it's giving me the sense of independence.

BookClub - new people, new thoughts, and new experiences. Neat-o!

Doing nothing makes me crazy. Doing something does the same thing.

What should I do? The moment I just place my head on the pillow, I start to think. That is one thing I should stop doing. I have nothing against this exercise – for other people. It’s just that I’ve been doing too much of that. I overanalyze. Yes, that’s what I do. Another thing is I’m too wrapped up with myself. Sometimes I neglect the other elements that revolve around the environment. I feel like my own world is the only thing that exist (well, technically it is what I think everyone else feels).

Hopes and dreams seem like a distant future. I haven’t really dwelt on it. I’m a procrastinator – not only on tasks but even on goals and dreams. I’m afraid? Damn…everything seems to be revolving around my fear. I’m afraid to do anything anymore. What I have is now - this ‘present’ that I have to deal with everyday.

Escape. I wish for this. But it doesn’t really exist because I have to eventually face reality sooner or later.

Scared of what? I really don’t understand what I’m really afraid of. But I am. It’s there. Choices? My dilemma is not making one. I rather keep all options open which only delay. “Delaying tactics” Haha. Dream away….

Heart. Do I even still have one?
Conscience. I probably don’t have one.
Regrets. Oh, do I still have those?
Moments. Lot of those that just come so fleetingly and I just forget.
Secrets. Shhhh…

Funny how I seem to be jolly and sad at the same time. I’m scared of myself. I can’t believe that I’m letting this crazy substance get to me. It’s starting to kill me slowly.

It has taken me so far away from what I used to be and I can’t believe it still does even when I can’t even touch it now.

My thoughts and words for recent events were written down somewhere else. Internet malfunction. ;(

Confused? Always.

Apples and Oranges. What do I want? The apple is polished and juicy. The orange is sweet and tangy.

The ever dependable apple will always be ready to give you what you need.

The exciting and unpredictable orange will leave you wanting more.

Fruit salad? Why not? Have the best of both 'fruits'

Who am I kidding? Reality check right?

It has been always the time when nothing is ever what it seems. I am changed...?? I say one thing but I do another. I believe in something but it changes due to circumstances. I try to justify my actions but the consequences have not really reached to the point that I'm able to feel them. I have to sort things out first.

Enough of the drama, finals are over...weeeh..... it's off to summer (fling)...haha! ;)

Life is still bittersweet. Apples and oranges...