Hands still shaking.

Emotions indefinite.

Convincing myself.

Chocolate distraction.

Gone out.

Happy holidays. ;)

Accomplishment: Able to do something I haven't done in a long time. Just one.

Status: Still procrastinating...this is bad, really bad.

Wishing: Drive my auto so I can go to the South and party.

Looking: Are there new ways to make myself a better person?

Searching: Inner peace. =P *whatever

Denying: The first wave is out of my head...when in fact it still is.

Reaching: To something that's not necessarily what I want but probably something that's best for me.

P.S.
*Never going to return it...I like having it, but I should and I will when you ask for it. Once again, nothing but you.*

New status: Hating myself.

90 degree turns and twists.

Physically? Emotionally?

A turn of event.
A twist of fate.

Crying once again. Accidents happen but I just can't help but still feel at fault. This time it created a 90 degree turn and I was scared shitless. What if I was a bit late...then it could have hit my sister and I will never forgive myself. I'd rather die. No way, no how.

"The more you know, the more you don't know." Why did it have to make sense?

My dad was one of the few topics on hand during our 'flight' to neverland. It was probably a sign. All this BS about destiny, fate and karma is getting me into trouble. Is this one of the reasons why I'm too emotional?

Misery. Am I really strong or it's just a facade? The search for happiness is misleading, maybe I'm looking for that temporary high when I should be looking for the one that will give meaning to whatever it is that I'm looking for. Am I selfish for wanting something like that? Or to be even talking about wanting it?

My sister. My life.

Another one -- who do I call when I get into something like this? You TP, and I'm scared more than ever. You'll be leaving and I know that. I try and I still depend on you.

I might not be able to give....for this time. Honestly, I'm still caught up with the first wave and I'm trying to conquer it.

Status:
1. Thesis is done. Thank you so much.
2. One Artic night left and I do hope it works out well.
3. Christmas is near.

Confused? Confusing?

Whatever.

*Those* are not meant for me. You are not good for me. You know that but I know more than you know that. You, nothing but you.

Jacket. Yours, and it's not mine. It can never be mine again. Smells like you...it has always been you. Touch...it has always been yours, not mine, but yours. You, always you. Nothing but you.

When was it me with you? It was never about me with you. It was you, nothing but you.

I want me back. I've stopped writing for you. I've stopped reading for you. I've stopped trying for you. You, it has always been you, nothing but you.

Another, can't it be another? One that's not you. One that's not me. One that's for the other.

Me. A better me without you nor another. One without anyone, because it has always been *you*...all of you, not about me, nothing but you.